Friday, June 21, 2024
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The Ledger of the Life of Allen Chezick was closed today and while the ink is dry, the tears are not.
Allen was simultaneously, a privileged guest and prisoner at life's banquet.
Blessed with a generosity of spirit, intellect and drive, he was cursed with a strength of convictions and a sense of righteousness that prohibited compromise.
Grief is not meant to be shared and so today, I shall be selfish.
______________
About 12 years ago, Allen was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and I penned the following to him.
It is more true today, then it was back then.
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A Letter to a Hero
There are some kids now, be it in heart or time, where a month would be a measure of importance.
For some friends, a year represents a significant amount of their common existence, where they have influenced each other or shared counsel.
You and I would certainly not notice a month, too fleeting. A year, perhaps….but given the nature of two old horses that have been yoked together for so long and in so many ways, maybe, just maybe the year would be the proverbial drop in the bucket.
For some people, a long time is 5 years..maybe that is how long they have been married, or known each other . Back then, we didn’t talk much.. the quick phone call to touch base, a catch up on how the kids were.
For others, it is 15 years. I was going through an exquisitely difficult time. Your life was stable. Your job was good. Your heart was generous. Your spirit nonjudgmental. Your love unbridled. You were the balm for a broken soul.
I couldn’t say it at the time, and while I have always valued those characteristics in others, and it was too easy to take yours for granted. I don’t anymore.
There was a time when the country counted the days hostages were held, Thirty years ago… (give or take a 1000 days, it really doesn’t matter)
We were making families, building homes and careers, chatting about life’s struggles and how lucky we were, and how soon we were going to retire. We were living the dream we had dreamt and forged.
It’s hard to believe there was a time before Viet Nam, Moon Landings, transistor radios or when Nixon was still in retirement.
You and I would talk about what it would be like to drive a car, to kiss a girl, and ways to get the best tan.
You wanted to go to some place called Woodstock.
I remember when several hoods made the serious mistake of trying to take you on in the deep pool at Rouge.
You quickly schooled them about the strengths of an All State Swimmer who can hold his breath for 3 minutes.
I know.. I was there… and I was so proud.
You thought of becoming a pharmacist, coming home with a catalogue and the determination to attend that college, neither of us realizing how your decision would influence me and my life.
There was a time when 1960 was in the future, buffalo head nickels, and silver dollars were in circulation.
We hoped Kennedy would get elected. You and I really wondered if there were “Magic Carpets” we could ride. We played Superman and Satellite. Dodge Ball and Running Bases.
You were the “Good Kid”, the Gallant to my Gufos. The first Eagle Scout. The big brother …constantly, I was admonished by Mom, Dad, and Nuns to be more like Allen. To be industrious. To not be a loud mouth.
I watched you cross the street on the first day headed to kindergarten and the stage to become a Pharmacist.
In a time when words are fleeting, relationships disposable, and emotions temporary, Our’s isn’t. We have talked, counseled, discussed, disagreed, argued, fought, loved and but never ignored.
I admire you for the sincerity of your emotions, the intensity of your convictions and the generosity of your spirit.
Multiple Myeloma, that bastard of a disease has entered your life and our relationship. It is slowing your steps and therefor our gait.
But it shall never, ever, sever that glorious yoke it has been my pleasure to share with you.
Thank you Allen.
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I can not imagine what I would have become without Allen.
He was held up as a model for me for me to emulate. Of course I strove to follow his example but there were times when that was untenable and I became even more Jerry.
Now, the Pantheon of Heroes in my life has a new member, and Zeus is forever eclipsed.
